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"He is the one"The girl said again pointing at me.I was too
dumbfounded to speak.I couldn't believe this was

"He impregnated you?"her mother asked pulling her hair.
The poor girl nodded as she
cried out in pain. I stole a glance at my father
and found him looking at
me.Other eyes were also on me.

"Who?"i heard myself ask
chika,the girl in question. "You you.you did it.that day
you took me to the bush close to the school"Chika explained firmly.

I was so ashamed of myself.I knew she was telling the truth but i must
never admit it.

"what is going on here?"my
father asked asked harshly as if
he was just coming out.

"Didn't you hear what my daughter said? Your useless son impregnated
my daughter"Her mother fumed.

My father couldn't believe it.He thought it was a joke all this

"Johnpaul!"my dad called.I turned to look at him with fear.

"Is it true?"he asked.
I shook my head negatively.

I had to do that.I didn't know what will become of me if i accepted.

"You are lying.go and look for who impregnated you"my
mother cut in,referring to
chika. ***.::::.***

The doctor handed the test results over to my father.I knew the test
will find me out.At first,i had refused to come to the hospital but he
forced me.My father almost beat the living daylight out of me.
Chika had to come with us.Her mother said the child must
never be aborted.I was full of shame.I couldn't bear the
thought that i now am going to have a child soon.I equally
knew some people would
address her as my wife.

After that incident,i started thinking of a way to break free
from what i was addicted
to.The more i tried to stop,the more i indulged in it.It had sunk into
my blood.I had come to see why drug addicts can
not break free from drug.

The more you try to stop,the more the urge increases.

I had stop schooling.I couldnt face the shame at school anymore.

Few months after chika
delivered,another trouble
came calling as another
woman came with her daughter.She claimed i had impregnated her and i
knew she was telling the truth.

Keneth and kelvin were still single.Osarugue was still single but i
have two girls or should i say wives under my disposal.

My life turned upside.I
molested almost every girl that came my way.
I hated myself.I tried everything to break free from the problem i was
into but all trials to no avail

THAT WAS HOW it happened and now i have no other option
than to end my life.I was tired of the shame i always got into.

I must hang myself and it has to be this night.Nobody can stop
me.My two victims has gone to sleep.The clock on the wall made me
realise its 11.20pm.
I took the rope and set out to fulfil my mission.

I had tied the rope to the tree branch somewhere around the
compound.As i made to put the
rope on my neck,i heard my father running to me,shouting in the
darkness of the night. Soon,i saw my mothers and
siblings coming.My father's shouting must have woken them up.

I started crying.I explained everything that has been happening to me
to them,right
from the day the television was brought into our house.I
never knew my step mother would forgive me for stealing
her money.

My father blamed my mothers for everything while they blamed him in
return for not always being around.

My father told me that they all loved me and would be sad if they lost me.

He told me he would help me get over my problems.I prayed
his strategies works.I want to be free someday.Physically,mentally and

I want to look at the opposite sex and not feel guilty.I want
to log into the internet without visiting porn sites.I want to be

I believe my father would help me.And i also believe God will
also play a part to rescue me.


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